Lion and Lambs

My sister wrote a post the other day about the difference between her and I when it comes to friendships.

My sister has several groups of friends, whole herds of girls, she hangs with. She has groups of girlfriends in other states! She talks to many of her friends every day, sometimes more than once a day, and they talk for a long time. They get together as a group for dinner. They get together for chatting. They go on vacation together. She and I grew up together, yet this is completely foreign to me. ~my sis

It reminded me of a paragraph from the book When God Weeps, Why Our Suffering Matters to the Almighty, that describes how I feel about my friends. The book was written by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steven Estes, but this paragraph was written by Joni.

Every good pleasure on earth is but a shadow of it’s fulfillment in heaven. The best of friendships are embryonic on earth, snatching only a few short years to mature. There’s never enough time. Words can never convey what overflows our heart. (How many times I have said that!) I experience this bittersweet sadness with intimate friends. I love them so much that I want to pass through them, reach the other side, to know them fully, be one with them. Not to possess but to meld with them. I can’t on earth. I’m on the outside of their heart’s door, always wanting to get in, get closer, even while relishing in their company.

on signs.

This morning I am sitting in my car with my door open and back to the outside, organizing my things for the day, oblivious to what is going on around me. (okay perhaps I need a sign) I back out of my driveway and turn to find a man passed out in my front yard.

My neighbors run a daycare at their house so I called to warn them. They said, “Yeah, he’s been there since 6:30.” SIX THIRTY! Three hours before I noticed him. My first thought was to protect them and call the police, but that didn’t cross their mind??

So I call Crimestoppers and they connect me right away to the fire department. Of course they ask the typical questions, address, phone, where he is laying. But then she asks me for a description. I tell her it is a hispanic male wearing jeans. She asks me what color shirt he has on. I’m thinking, so you get the right guy that is passed out in my front yard??

My female neighbor was very thankful I had the fire department coming though!

I received a phone call at work that went like this:

Me: “May I help you?”

Caller: “I would like your Fax number please.”

Me: “It’s 6 0……”

Caller: “Wait a minute, let me get a pen.”

Just a Word of Encouragement
from Mark Shea & Jeff Cavins
—————-

Psalm 2:4
He who sits in the heavens laughs;
the Lord has them in derision.

——————–
The Bible isn’t a book with a lot of laff lines or boffo jokes. Nonetheless, the Christian revelation is, in one sense, the greatest practical joke in history. For in the Passion and Resurrection of Christ, Jesus surrendered himself to the most vindictive plans of Satan and used the very force of Satan’s desire to destroy him in order to conquer death and Satan forever. In Catholic tradition, the Monday after Easter is sometimes known as “God’s Laughter Day” because it is the day heaven laughs at the triumph of life and the conquest of sin, hell, death and the devil. Today, have a good laugh with the Risen Christ and thank God for his unsearchable ways!

(Thanks to my brother for passing this along to me.)

It may be a day late, but deeply moving none the less. It struck me as a perfect example that not all things are good, but:

We are assured and know that [[a]God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose. Romans 8:28 amp

all things work together for good….His good plan, and therefore our good.

As you celebrate the Resurrection this weekend, may your eyes remain focused on Him, on His sacrifice, and on His deep, deep undescribable love for you. My prayer for you is this:

14 When I think of the wisdom and scope of His plan, I fall down on my knees and pray to the Father of all the great family of God-some of them already in heaven and some down here on earth- 16 that out of His glorious, unlimited resources He will give you the mighty inner strengthening of his Holy Spirit. 17 And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; 18 and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high His love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is SO GREAT that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself. Eph 3:14-18 TLB

Being Good Friday, a day of sorrow at the door of hope, I came to my computer desiring to watch our church’s Good Friday service on the internet. I wanted to attend, but migraine has had me down for a few days. Today I am not strong enough to fight it in public.

The live link broadcast was not working, so while here I decided to check my e-mail. One of the migraine sites I visit, Help For Headaches and Migraine, posted the results of their poetry contest, titled Putting Our Heads Together. I browsed through many of them…and I cried.

They get it. And why not? They feel it. They live it. They have seen the darkness. My friends do their best to understand, and they love incredibly, but they have never walked there. I have hidden from most of them, in shame, just how dark the darkness can get. But then there it is, plastered on the internet…and I cried.

I am not alone. I am not crazy. I am not weak. I am not different. They speak my heart. There is something about the fellowship of suffering, knowing someone truly understands. I am not alone. I have a disease…and I am loved.

I have even hidden my pain from my readers here. I have resolved not to do that anymore. I don’t have to be tough. I have a disease…and I am loved.

And on this night, when we remember the ultimate suffering, I cry…because it is all about love; He suffered because He loves.

In the words of Joel Engle:

In the Shadow of the Cross, I will live; I will live FOR YOU! And I will NOT forget the price You paid.

Taxes are done, filed, accepted…..Can you feel the happy dance???

I don’t like waiting for the last minute.

I haven’t been questioning, but I have still been getting answers lately. God is good that way.

When we as leaders in GriefShare, have been questioned in the past with the really “tough” questions, my friend said simply this, “I don’t know or understand everything, but I trust His Words.” As she said this, she lay her hand on her bible. It was impacting and I refer back to that moment often.

Last night I was reading Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith, by Rob Bell. He was talking about how we as Christians, are referred to as people of faith, vs. people who don’t believe as we do, being of non-faith. His point was that we are all people of faith, the difference is simply what we believe. That was very thought provoking and reshaping.

Finally this morning when reading my GraceMail, I came across another lifechanging quote on faith. The link above is to a sample GraceMail, not today’s actual. Here is the quote:

“I will not allow what I do know to be shaken and disturbed by what I do not know.”

This could become a tradition. Last night I was again thankful to be too tired to blog.

Wednesday night I stopped by the hospital to visit my mom as she was recuperating from her second knee replacement surgery. Though it was late and I was tired I had a most enjoyable time visiting with her. Being able to lotion her face and arms and get other things for her was an added pleasure to our conversation. I left feeling so much lighter than when I had gotten there, and kept reflecting on how blessed I am to have her, how very much I do love her.

That is what I was going to write Wednesday night before my son came in and visited with me.

Yesterday afternoon my mom came home from the hospital, and since my dad had to go play a symphony concert I offered to stay with her. They see it as a sacrifice on my part, I see it as a golden opportunity.

I spent the evening attending to her needs, sharing with her, and together we watched “Sarah, Plain and Tall, Winter’s End.” What an extraordinary evening. I know I enjoyed it more than she did because she was feeling so poorly. They were apologetic and thankful for my time. To me her time spent with me was a gift.

But darn those support hose….I need to get in better shape to change those again!!

Today I am very thankful that my seventeen year old son still enjoys conversations with me. I am thankful small talk with mom is cool. I am also thankful that I am not totally stupid to him and that he (and his brother) value my opinion. I am thankful that he desired to talk to me for so long that I am too tired to think and type the post I wanted to do tonight.

I sure love my boys!!